


Foolishly

by honeyeyedstranger



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 23:41:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29125890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeyeyedstranger/pseuds/honeyeyedstranger
Summary: Reader is a fellow jedi who had an arrangement with Obi-Wan and you both agreed to not fall in love. You thought you could do it. You thought you were fine.You held him in such high regard, your Jedi General. But as the force would have it, things do not go as planned.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 44





	Foolishly

**Author's Note:**

> This is the Obi-Wan/Reader version of the Arrangement! But it is much, much angstier. (I've been having a terrible week).
> 
> I did write this in a caffeine infused hour, so I apologize for any mistakes. This might be a standalone. I still have yet to decide.

The world was crashing down on you.

You heard a roaring in your ears, reminiscent of the violent waves on Kamino. Your heart thudded in your chest and your breath caught in your throat.

You vaguely remember someone yelling out your name behind you but all you could focus was on _getting the hell out of there._

Your hands moved on their own accord as you tried balancing yourself on the walls of the temple, catching you when you swayed.

Anakin appeared in front of you, catching you by your shoulders, trying to shake you out of whatever panic you had put yourself through. Your hands instinctively came up to cling to his arms, but your mind was still adamant of getting out of there.

"What's happening?" You remember him asking. You tried to pull yourself from his hold, but he held you tighter. You tried to look at him, _look at him_ , but your gaze was absent, like you saw right through him. His hand came up to your cheek, lightly tapping you, trying to bring you back to reality. "Tell me how to help you."

"I need to leave, I have to leave," you heard yourself saying to him. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you heard _his_ voice calling your name once again, sounding closer than the first time. Anakin looked behind you and you wrenched yourself out of his hold, stepping around him, your heart thudding more violently against your chest.

"Wait," he tried to say but you continued your trek away from him.

You finally reached the main doors and you stepped outside into the courtyard, your knees collapsed from beneath you as you tried to take a few shaky breaths of fresh air. You pulled yourself back up to your feet, but you stumbled like a just birthed Bantha calf. You took a few shaky steps forward but you were suddenly pulled back into someone.

From his scent, you immediately knew it was _him_.

"Let me go!" You struggled against him. But he only held on tighter even when a few fellow jedis in the courtyard gave them strange looks.

"Darling, you're making a scene," he murmured gently into your ear. His arm was latched tightly around your waist as you struggled against him.

"Please, let me go," you whispered, and to your horror you started to feel the tell-tale sting of tears in your eyes. You refused to give him the satisfaction. But it seems like your body had other ideas as a sob left your mouth against your will.

He immediately whirled you around to face him. His eyes looked greatly saddened and it broke your heart even more to see the tears well up in his eyes as well.

Many of the Jedis left the scene, clearly this was not something anyone was meant to witness, whatever it was.

"I can't, my love, I _won't_ ," he whispered into the almost nonexistent space between both of you. You shook in his embrace, the tears now coming nonstop. You gasped out a soft sob, as you again tried to pull away from him.

"Obi-Wan, what's going on?" Anakin asked behind him.

"I know that if I let you go, right now, in this precise moment," he whispered to you, ignoring Anakin, "I know I'll never see you again. And that is not something I can ever live with." You shook your head.

"No, that's not true," you reasoned out loud to him.

"I know you," he emphasized with a squeeze around your waist. His hand came up to your face as he gently caressed your cheek. You felt yourself melting into his touch, and the idea of how much control he has over you brought new fresh, hot tears to your eyes.

It was an accidental discovery.

You were in his bed, watching him sleep soundly, and your heart squeezed at the sight of him.

You were so in love with him, it was ridiculous.

This arrangement, there was an agreement on both your parts to not fall in love. And you thought you were OK, you thought you were fine. Because you didn't care, it didn't matter in what form you had him, around you, _inside_ of you. You didn't care as long as he was there.

But you had slipped up. Maybe it happened because you spent too long admiring his appearance or maybe because you were just plain stupid and you knew it was going to happen anyway. But you found yourself pinning for his touch every night, found yourself in tears craving his warmth.

And then you discovered the growing child inside of you.

He discovered you vomiting in the refresher, your face streaked with tears. After finally coaxing an answer from you, he had frozen in panic.

"I'm not ready for this, the Republic still needs us, and we have so much ahead of us," he had said, clearly in a panic. You had quietly agreed and foolishly spent another night in his bed. But as he quietly groaned into your neck that night, you had already made a silent decision.

And he wasn't included in it.

You thought about leaving without telling him but you were so stupidly in love with him and decided to leave him a letter. You had planned it all out perfectly. And so when he left for his weekly scheduled council meeting, you put your plan into action. You left the letter on his pillow as you pulled the burlap sack that contained the very few belongings you had over your shoulder. Your heart thudded in your chest but then you felt bile rising up your throat and you tossed your bag onto the bed and ran for the bathroom.

You sighed as you hovered over the toilet, wiping your mouth. Your hand patted your still flat belly, as if trying to soothe the growing life within. You flushed and brushed your teeth quickly and splashed water on to your face.

You barely recognized your reflection. Your cheeks had hollowed out considerably, possibly due to not being able to keep much down. You silently made a mental note to see a medic as soon as possible.

You stepped back into the bedroom, the blood freezing in your veins when you stepped through the door as you found Obi-Wan standing at the foot of his bed, your letter in hand. He looked up at you, tears in his eyes. You instinctively eyed the burlap sack on his bed and he followed your gaze. He furrowed his eyebrows in disbelief.

"You're leaving me?" His voice cracked, betraying his anger. You refused to think about what he implied with his question. 

You moved to grab your bag but he stepped in front of you, blocking your path. His hand reached out to you but you made a split-second decision that you were willing to part with your belongings. And so you dodged his arms and ran out the door.

And that's how you found yourself in the courtyard, Obi-Wan's arms around you, refusing to let you go.

"All you have to do is ask and I'll leave the order," he whispered to you. You shook your head, his answer only confirming your decision.

"I shouldn't have to ask you, Obi-Wan," you said, your voice quivering. "And I could never." He stared you down for a few moments before his hold on you gently eased.

"Then I guess we are at an impasse, my dear."

"It would seem so," you said, taking a step back, away from him.

"What, you're just going to let her go?" Anakin said furiously as he stepped toward you. "Just like that?" You turn to him, tears streaming down your face. You step toward him, and wrap your arms around him and he pressed a hard kiss against your temple. You never understood how to love someone like a brother but Anakin waltzed into your life, teaching you so many things.

"Please don't leave," he said as he pulls you closer.

"I'm sorry, Anakin. You will do great things. I only wish I could stay to witness them."

"Please," he said, his voice cracking as you pulled away, him clinging to your arms.

"I love you," you said to him reassuringly. "And I can only hope our paths cross again soon." Anakin shook his head, refusing to let you go. Anakin looked over at Obi-Wan, but he had a blank look on his face as he watched you.

You gently extricated yourself from Anakin's arms.

And so you walked away from the temple, the jedi order, from Anakin, from Obi-Wan. And as you took a seat on the shuttle ship to Naboo, you were determined to not look back.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave any comment as to what you thought! Much appreciated. ❤


End file.
